Being Ladylike

Why not create an exhibit of sorts to both beautify your home and emphasize certain important ideas? I was reading in a lovely old book called The Christian Family about the symbols in our home. For example, putting up scripture and tasteful crosses and items of beauty will inspire and instruct those who view them.

I pondered this, and decided to put up a display in the nursery that might make an impression on our little Elena. The theme of the display is Little Girls in Dresses Doing Interesting Things. And, I believe that the clothes we wear are important, too. As my husband and I believe that girls should dress like girls and boys should dress like boys, I wear a skirt or a dress nearly every day, and Elena wears a dress, a skirt, or a feminine romper every day. (Babies' rompers are soooo sweet!)

So, I'm hoping that these lovely images are making a good impression on Elena. I don't think its ever really too early to begin making this kind of an impression on children. You may have noticed me mention before the fact that homemaking is interdisciplinary; that is, we homemakers undertake tasks of many many sorts. Well, here's an example of that! What category of homemaking is this? Gender studies? Art appreciation? Regardless, please enjoy our little exhibit from the nursery, which is otherwise entitled, Being Ladylike.

Anne of Green Gables Fashion Week!

When I was in kindergarten in 1985, Anne of Green Gables the film was on PBS and I got to see it with my family for the first time. I was enraptured. As soon as I was able to handle chapter books I voraciously read not only Anne of Green Gables, but the whole series. And then I read most of the other L.M. Montgomery books, too, which are also fabulous - full of interesting, thought-provoking characters, universal themes and domestic beauty.

A few years later, when The Sequel came out, I remember how overcome with awe and happiness I was. Another Anne film? Could there be anything more welcome to a little girl? Oh, that was pure joy. More Anne! More dresses! More Anne-saves-the-day-moments!

As a little girl and now as a lady, I love lots of things about Anne: the way she sees the world a little differently from the crowd, the way she finds the good in people, the way she embraces adventure, and yes, the way she dresses. The books are also very specific about another of her qualities: she is an excellent cook! Film is so captivating; it captures so much of the story's essence, yet I still return to the pages of the books again and again, soaking in the wordiness and the details that film is obliged to leave out. One of the books calls Anne a "sower of sunshine", in people's lives, and it has been my prayer over the years to be this in the lives of others. It seems like a good aspiration.

One of the first deep impressions the story of Anne left on me is how determined she was to have a "bosom friend". I remember in elementary school keeping an eye out for a friend like that. Doesn't everybody? If there's a Diana in my life, she didn't really come along until college.

Our family took a road trip to Prince Edward Island one summer, and we rented a cottage on a large acreage. The lady who ran the place encouraged us to explore the extensive grounds, which thrilled me to no end! I think I was 13 or 14, old enough to go off on my own, and I wandered long and far, finding all sorts of Anne-ish nooks and crannies. The fields rolled and the forests seemed quaintly full of literary charm. For me it was like walking into the books, smelling what Anne smelled, seeing what Anne saw, exploring where Anne explored. We also visited Green Gables and Silver Bush (of the Pat series, also by Montgomery), and had raspberry cordial at a tea room. Over in Charlottetown we attended Anne of Green Gables the musical, which is just splendid if you are a young Anne crazed girl and love musicals, which I was and did.

During my years as a single young lady I felt very differently about Anne than I do right now. Now I am happily married to a man every bit as much of a catch as Gilbert. But back when I was waiting for him to come along, I was really lonesome. Even though I was doing all the things single Christian young ladies are supposed to do, I felt very - - oh, let's call it the "Adam alone in the Garden of Eden" feeling. You know what I mean? Lonely. Needing a Gilbert, you know. During those days, Anne really reeeeally bothered me. What was she thinking? Gilbert was there the whole time. He pursued her in a gentlemanly way and clearly was prepared to marry her and she kept him waiting. What is with that? Harumph. As you can see, it still gets my goat. However, it is no longer a touchy subject for me, since my Gilbert did come along and I did not keep him waiting. I said "Yes." as soon as he got down on one knee, held up the little jewel box and asked me to marry him. Five weeks later, we got married, surrounded by friends and family who threw rice at us as we marched out of the church! (also very Anne-ish, that rice throwing tradition).

Recently a good friend of mine got married, and I was tickled pink about a number of things about her sweetly, simply elegant church wedding: 1. Her groom is every bit as much a catch as Gilbert, 2. She walked down the aisle on her father's arm while a pianist played one of the themes from Anne of Green Gables! (the effect was beautiful.) 3. For her "something borrowed" she wore the veil that I wore at my wedding. This was such a sentimental thing for me - it seemed Victorian and meaningful and altogether special, rather like something that would happen in an Anne book: two friends passing along a bridal veil like that.

Does anyone else have any wonderful Anne memories?

This Campaign Needs an Inspiring Name, any ideas?

"The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender.
There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind.
There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined.
We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith;
We have enough greed; we need more goodness;
we have enough vanity; we need more virtue.
We have enough popularity, we need more purity." --Margaret D. Nadauld

Over the weekend our little family attended something delightful called the Farm Animal Frolic at Quiet Valley Living Historical Farm. Baby Elena, who currently seems really interested in animals, especially sheep, got to pet all sorts of baby farm animals. It was an afternoon of good memories and sweet scenes as I watched my husband hold my daughter, surrounded by early summer sunshine.

The afternoon was briefly interrupted by a scene that I won't go into in depth: I will just say that near the bunnies, a mother kneeling near her child was being greatly betrayed by her incredibly low-rise jeans. I was appalled, and was haunted by the rude display of flesh for hours afterward.

During that moment or two when I noticed the problem, I really didn't know what to do. Should I let her know? How should I phrase it to her? Surely she could sense all that exposed skin, couldn't she? Other than this fashion faux pas she didn't appear to be the usual candidate for trying to shock anyone, she was otherwise very average in her mid-thirties motherly appearance. I was very frustrated. All I ended up actually doing about it was warning my dear husband to look in the other direction, and our family left the scene calmly to visit the lambs instead.

Throughout the remainder of the day I struggled from time to time with that question - - what should our response as ladies be to the women in our midst who are immodest, whether by their own honest mistake or their own intention? I've been in that situation before and also did not know what to do, and ended up doing nothing.

What is the compassionate response? What is the ladylike response?

I have no idea, still, about what the conversation should look like. Something tells me it needs to be non-judgemental and kind if it is to make any kind of positive impact, however, beyond that I'm not getting any ideas.

The next day, we were at the grocery store as a family, and in the produce department my husband quietly pointed out to me a young lady about my age who was wearing a very pretty, modest, casual day-dress. It was one of those everyday kind of dresses that is super cute, yet knit jersey and probably not dressy/respectful enough for church, but perfect for looking cute at home or out and about. Oh, dear, I need to learn to post photos so I can find an example on the web and pin it up here. "See? that's your kind of dress, Heather, and it is modest!" he whispered. (He knew how down I was feeling about the widespread immodesty in our culture.)

Anyway, I had noticed her, too, and had been relieved and heartened to see this.

Then, I had an idea!!!

What if, instead of dwelling on my unanswerable question of what to say to the immodest, I help promote modesty by finding some quiet, polite, positive way to compliment those ladies among us who are dressing modestly? To me, that sounds like a plan!

So, the next lady I saw in an outfit that filled that bill (and I must say, it was only about 2 minutes later in the bread department, hooray), I just naturally told,

"Oh, what a great skirt," with a polite smile. I was careful not to be overzealous. She beamed back and gave me a big "Thanks!"

Phew. That felt like such an easy exchange when compared to the scary low rise jeans incident of the day before.

Will you join me in my campaign to promote modest dress? My intention in this article is not to gossip or cast judgement, it is to launch something positive.

Could that something positive be a new habit or two?
1. a habit of dressing in a ladylike (i.e. feminine and skin-covering) manner, and of
2.providing quiet compliments to others who do so too,

thus positively reinforcing ladylike dress.

This leaves us back at the title: this campaign requires an inspiring and non-war-like name. Any ideas?